Tara on ADHD, survival and finding a different path

This Feeling Seen conversation goes in several directions I did not expect. My guest Tara talks about receiving an ADD/ADHD diagnosis while she was in college in the 1990s, appearing on Naked and Afraid, a change in her work and relationships, menopause, nature and the contemplative practices she now teaches. I ask questions from my own experience of receiving an ADHD diagnosis much later. The point is not that one adventurous life offers a treatment plan for anybody else. It is a conversation about choices, identity and what helps two people feel more like themselves.

The automatic transcript of a long conversation can miss names and specialised words, so this is an edited account of the topics we discuss rather than a verbatim transcript. Tara’s descriptions of her diagnosis, survival experience and spiritual practice are her own account. I do not turn them into medical claims or promises that another person will have the same result.

A diagnosis in college

Tara says she was studying to become a teacher when material in a psychology class introduced her to ADD and ADHD. The description felt familiar. She recalls attending a specialist clinic near Kansas City while she was a student at Northwest Missouri State University, and being assessed in the mid 1990s. She describes the language used at the time as being between inattentive and hyperactive patterns. Diagnostic terms and methods have changed since then, so her account is best understood as her recollection of that period.

What stayed with me was the feeling of recognition. Tara says she had long felt different or awkward, and the diagnosis gave her a way to place her experience. That response is familiar to many people who receive an explanation for a lifelong pattern, but it is not universal. A diagnosis can bring relief, questions or both. It does not make every earlier difficulty disappear.

We also talk about our choices around medication. Tara says she decided not to take it, and I describe making a similar personal choice after my later diagnosis. Those are accounts of our own decisions, not advice to viewers. ADHD medication can be helpful for many people, and treatment choices should be made with a qualified clinician based on individual benefits, risks and preferences. Nobody needs to follow our route to have a valid ADHD experience.

Two different points in life

I ask Tara what it was like to know about ADHD much earlier than many guests I had interviewed. She says she does not wish she had done her life differently. Looking back, she sees academic challenges, movement and outdoor interests as parts of the route she took. I share that my diagnosis came much later and helped me understand things I had said and done in the past.

There is no single right age to learn the name of a neurodevelopmental condition. Early recognition can bring support and self understanding. A later diagnosis can reframe decades of experience. Both may leave questions about what support would have helped sooner. In the interview, we are comparing two lives rather than trying to decide which route is preferable.

Tara also describes a strong result on a spatial task during her assessment and how good it felt to hear that. It is her recollection, not a measure we can verify from the recording. I include it because it helps explain why the diagnosis did not feel only like a list of deficits to her. A person can need support in one area and be proud of an ability in another.

Menopause and changing capacity

Tara talks about perimenopause and postmenopause as important parts of her life. She describes emotional waves and a change in the things she fixated on. I share some of my own reflections on that period. These are personal accounts. Hormonal changes, sleep, stress and other health issues can affect attention and mood, but a podcast cannot determine why a particular symptom changed.

If you notice new or difficult symptoms during menopause, discuss them with an appropriate health professional. Do not assume every change is ADHD, or that every change is caused by menopause. The overlap can be complicated, and individual care matters. In the conversation, what is useful is the permission to notice change without turning it into a character flaw.

We also laugh about how perspective changes with age. Tara talks about an “autumn queen” stage of life and choosing what she no longer needs. I reflect on having a different relationship with work and balance than I did in my twenties and thirties. These are our interpretations of our lives, not a timetable everybody must follow.

Why she said yes to Naked and Afraid

Tara says a casting company contacted her after finding a blog where she wrote about ADHD and invited her to apply for Naked and Afraid. She already had a wilderness survival background. She describes filming a 21 day challenge in Panama in early 2015. I had not watched the episode when we spoke, and my question was simple: why would anyone choose such an exposed and demanding experience?

She says she believes ADHD played a part in her willingness to take the risk. She also describes a discussion among cast members in a private group in which many respondents identified with ADHD. That is her informal recollection, not a study of participants or evidence that people with ADHD generally choose extreme television. Selection bias would be considerable in any voluntary group response. Her own explanation of her motivation is what the conversation can support.

I ask how she managed the social side. She explains that the basic challenge involved two people for 21 days, while other versions of the programme have larger groups. That detail changed my picture of the experience. A wilderness challenge may be social and physically demanding, but its structure is not the same as being surrounded by a large cast all day.

What changed when she returned

Tara says the experience came at a point when she was unhappy in work that kept her at a laptop doing grants, data collection and management rather than the outdoor mentoring that had mattered to her. She describes the survival experience as reconnecting her with herself. She uses spiritual language for what followed, including a feeling of awakening and a new direction.

That is her meaning, and it deserves to be presented as such. It does not establish that a wilderness survival challenge would reset another person’s nervous system or change their life in the same way. What I hear in the story is a contrast between the work she had been doing and the kind of activity that felt alive to her. Many of us can ask what part of our day brings energy, without needing to sign up for television survival.

She also talks about a relationship change and a suggestion from a friend that led her to explore tantra. The interview does not provide a full history of that relationship, and I am not going to fill in private details. The relevant point is that she followed a practice she found meaningful and eventually built work around it.

What Tara means by tantra

I ask her to explain tantra for viewers who may associate the word only with sex. Tara describes a much wider set of practices in her own work: breath, meditation, ritual, attention to self and relationships, and connection with nature. She calls her approach Earth Tantra and describes how her background in wilderness and nature shapes it. These are her descriptions of a spiritual and personal practice, not a clinical treatment for ADHD.

She explains a breath meditation she uses and says it can be woven into everyday moments such as standing in a queue. During the conversation I try paying attention to my breathing and say I feel a brief sense of relief. That is my immediate subjective experience, not evidence that the method treats ADHD or anxiety. If breath practices make you dizzy or distressed, stop and seek appropriate advice. A simple pause may help some people, while others prefer a different way to settle.

Tara says the variety of practices appeals to her because she can choose among them rather than having to do the same thing every day. I connect that with my own difficulty staying present and listening after asking a question. The exchange is valuable because it is exploratory. I am learning from a guest, not presenting a certified programme.

Nature, movement and personal fit

Tara describes feeling most alive outside and moving. She links that to her own ADHD experience, while acknowledging that people differ. I answer that my own pull is more toward travel and the sea than a fixed outdoor routine. That difference matters. The lesson is not that all ADHD people need wilderness. It is to ask which environments and activities work for you.

A walk may help one person organise thoughts. Another may find calm in a familiar room, a swimming pool, a train journey or a creative project. Accessibility, safety and personal preference all matter. Do not turn someone else’s inspiring story into a standard you must meet.

If you are thinking of a retreat, evaluate it as you would any other service: what is offered, who runs it, the cost, accessibility, boundaries and safety arrangements. The video is an interview about Tara’s experience and practice, not a recommendation that a retreat is suitable for every viewer or a replacement for healthcare.

What I took from the conversation

Near the end I ask what Tara hopes people will take away. She encourages listening to what matters to you and following a path that feels right, even when it differs from the life you had planned. That is a broad life reflection, not a command to leave a job, end a relationship or decline treatment. Real choices depend on money, health, care responsibilities and support.

For me, the conversation is also about the freedom that can follow understanding your own brain. My later diagnosis helped me make sense of my experience and led me to write, create this podcast and speak with people whose lives differ from mine. Tara’s early diagnosis led through a very different set of choices. We meet in curiosity rather than an identical solution.

If you are newly diagnosed, you can take time. You do not have to decide immediately whether medication, a new career, a retreat or a particular practice belongs in your life. Gather reliable information, speak with qualified professionals where health is concerned, and listen to people’s stories without confusing them with instructions.

Questions from the episode

Does Tara recommend avoiding ADHD medication?

No general recommendation can be drawn from her personal decision not to take it. Donna describes a similar choice. Treatment decisions are individual and should be discussed with a qualified clinician.

Did ADHD cause Tara to join Naked and Afraid?

Tara believes it contributed to her willingness to take the risk. The conversation cannot establish a cause, and her prior wilderness experience also mattered.

Is Earth Tantra an ADHD treatment?

Tara describes it as her spiritual and nature connected practice. The interview does not establish it as a clinical treatment. Viewers should not replace evidence based care with a personal story.

Further reading and related watching

• NIMH guide to ADHD and treatment options.
• Related watching: ADHD and the brain difference.
• Related watching: balancing deep focus and recovery.

Thank you to Tara for sharing her story with me. The useful question I carry from it is not “How do I copy her life?” It is “What helps me feel present and able to choose my own next step?”

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